Essentially Invisible

Multifandoming is weird.

I know it's not, not really. But after being mono-faniacle for all of my life, I'm in a weird place where I am totally and utterly giddy in a creative, active way over a lot of different things. In earnest. My habit with (X-Files, Lord of the Rings, and to some degree, Supernatural) is to basically fixate.  I burned my desire for the things I loved into a dry husk, poisoning the well, so to speak. And now, I'm suddenly kind of putting an appendage into every fandom I can find. There's always been little dribbles of YAY!Richard Armitage or YAY!Iolaus in Hercules or YAY!Dark Angel or YAY whatever, but I've never been able or willing to handle multiple fandoms full bore for fear, I guess, of tainting one with the other or one being subsumed by the other.

Right now, I'm digging:
Misha and everything Misha-related, not least of all Castiel and everyone in mishaland
Supernatural which kind of feels like home, maybe if home is a dirty, backroads whorehouse.  I know the ins and outs of the thing, where to avoid and  I know it's messed up and troubled and could use some therapy, but it works for me consistently.
Sheldon (mostly with Penny) from the Big Bang Theory
Alistair from Dragon Age (and Bann Teagan, damn that clever dialogue in the Chantry) with the Cousland origin. I think it's a testament to the story and the voice acting that I'm replaying this game for the 3rd time to get the nuances.
Hatter from SyFy's surprisingly good Alice miniseries. But I must append that it's only been one night with him. One very, very nice night.   With guyliner.  And the eponymous hat.
Steampunkery in general. Because it's fun to feel fancy and deviant and creative.
I'm also starting to read A Song of Ice and Fire (since I found the first book at TehBookstore for 4 bucks) and I feel a whole wave of creativity just simmering as a result for my own work. I don't have enough time for any of this and they're all battering around in my head like birds trying to escape through a closed window, but I don't feel like I have to focus on one to save it from the others.    It's actually a lot less stressful to stop avoiding enjoying what I enjoy to the hilt on the basis of some sort of ridiculous, self-enforced code of loyalty.
 
In other words, letting go and letting love is a good thing.   It makes sense to me right now as a mantra beyond fandom, too.  This is the time of the year where whether or not we deserve it or know better, there should be joy.

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Monday on a flight to Vancouver, I stole the emergency flight information card (-40 points). Last Thursday I committed genocide... Sorry about that, alethialia (-5000 points). In January weesta and I robbed a bank (-50 points). Last Wednesday I signed my organ donor card (28 points). In September I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-5043 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal! Sincerely, laivine

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